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“A marine and a navy corpsman you re always told to suck it up and and sucking it up was not always an easy thing to do we was out night patrol and um. It s crazy because i m ie d had hit when stuff like that happens you can t you kind of like have to bottle. It up you can t sit. There and sulk and cry even though you just lost you blast.
Buddy you have to because the next morning. We re back out on a mission that s just the way. It is you know the day that i left my platoon got hit another gunner with an afp and he he didn t make it it was kind of rough no closure. There really.
But there s not ever really any closure especially when you re in iraq or afghanistan. You know you have a small memorial and then drive on we stick it down just to drive on for the mission. I mean we got to deal with the problems. There that s at you know readily available at our hands.
And you know we really can t give any time to think about some of the things that we re gonna we re gonna think about later when we get back home when you don t know how to handle something like that when it gets to a place..
Where you ve never handled that kind of pain before you just like avoid it avoid it so i never said anything to anybody. I never talked about it because some of the things you see there and are not things you really want to keep harping on or remembering i just buried it all and that was really kind of stupid. But i just didn t want to talk anybody about it i was fighting with myself that didn t happen let it go happen in korea. Bury.
It there staying busy was the main thing and just staying busy to the point. Where you re exhausted so you hold everything and it just boils and simmers there for a long time one of the things. I was doing is that i would i did not talk to anyone that i served with i had no connection with anyone had nothing to do with anything military and i never ever mentioned anything about me being in the military or anything about my military service. I put vietnam clean out of the picture fake it i get to having too much problems you know going back.
I actually would take a little more work. Okay. I work 16 hours a day at my job and come home raise the garden mow. The yard keep my house up.
I had some issues with my son and we i was avoiding and that s a big thing with ptsd you avoid everything there maybe just returning a phone call..
If a bar was or family gathering. It was too crowded. I d come up with reasons to get away from it i used to work 1415 hours a day just to keep my mind busy and i went 20 about 25 years. Doing the same thing getting fired from this job from that job for three years when i got home.
I didn t want to talk to nobody i just stayed busy i blanked it out but guess what it doesn t go anywhere. It s there you re gonna run. But you re all you re gonna get tired sooner or later. And that problem was gonna be there i kept working and keeping myself.
Very very busy and doing things not till later. When i really had a chance to reflect on things did i find behaviors and issues that that i was basically i m asking up what the va. Did is they basically hooked me up with a with a good counselor. We met with him we got to basically lay everything out.
What plan of attack was gonna be the best thing..
Whether it was gonna be you know group or single one on one it s a process to help you like you know what s on your chest. You know what how can we help you i mean you can t get rid of the memories. They re always gonna be there. But how you cope with them was a different story.
I went to mental health. Just talked with a counselor. I went over the course of probably six months total and but immediately it really helped cuz. I didn t even realize how much i was holding in what they did is they started working it out okay.
Hey. I want you to go you know into you know. A small small crowd basically like a little park okay. There s not going to be that many people in the morning.
So it s kind of a good way to just ease me back into it and that that was great because it s just like watching that scary movie playing it over and over and it s not scary anymore..
That was our treatment was the repetitive exposure and talking it through and forcing myself to emotionally experience. It through that structure through his guidance. I was he started me on the path of moving through it all son. It s like a big blast of fresh air.
You know i can be around crowds. I can sit there and watch keep my other kids play or whatever you know and i m not okay we got to go. It s opened up a whole bunch of possibilities for me. ” .
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“Some Veterans try to cope with uncomfortable thoughts, feelings, people, or situations through avoidance. Professional support provides the skills to learn how to meet obstacles head-on and face difficult thoughts, feelings, and memories. Hear from Veterans who found resources that helped them move beyond avoidance to take charge of their lives.”,